Age is a funny thing, as I've got older, I've generally felt I don't have an age, people put a lot of emphasis on age. It's something I've had to deal with a lot, Michael is 18 years older than me, and some people find that really difficult to come to terms with. Over the years I've dealt with a huge range of reactions, I would say a good portion of the positive reactions are either people who know and have seen us interact together as a couple, or people who themselves have experienced age gap relationships, either through their own relationships or their friends and family. As for the negative reactions, which have ranged from choosing to ignore us to outright abuse, these have been people who generally have only know me or have never even met either of us. I've found that Michael's friends, family and work colleagues have on the whole been very positive towards us, they know Michael is a lovely person and also a big kid, there's only one person on Michael's side of things that I can recall who has been a bit of a cunt, but he's a two faced bastard as it is, so it was to be expected. It's a strange thing, I look back to how I was during my teenage years, and I do believe I was a naive silly little girl sometimes, but there was always parts of me, a certain simple logic towards life that I had that during my interactions with people via the internet made them believe that I was much older than I was.I realise that having a generally mature head on your shoulders at 17 is not everything you need to be an adult, at the time you think you that just because you can admit you don't know everything and you haven't experienced everything in life that you are therefore do know more than most other teenagers and want to be treated like a true adult. At 22, I can hardly judge teenagers for their way of thinking, because I think some people tend not to grow out of that style of thinking, where as others realise that it's ok that you never stop learning, it's ok that you haven't experienced every situation life can throw at you, most people seem to lose that particular hang up that teenagers have, they are at peace with the fact that life is ever flowing and ever changing and you have to adapt rather than sulk just because you've never dealt with this before and don't know what to do. I try not to have a problem with teenagers....and young men, I can't help but feel slightly superior sometime, I really try not to, but when teenagers and young men (who generally take a good while longer to catch up with women emotionally) come at me with their "problems" I can't help but being slightly dismissive of them, I try to give them practical and almost unemotional advice, I am not as sympathetic as I used to be. Perhaps because certain people seriously abused my "niceness" in the past, perhaps because I had to deal with the full force of people's hatred for loving someone they didn't approve of, or perhaps because I do live my life with someone in his 40s now, that I've been able to by-pass those awkward early 20s where you are thrust into life after the hormonal mess that is your teenage years and generally told to just get on with it. I admit, Michael has been a huge benefit to my life for many reasons, one of them is experience, I'm going through the weird years of understanding who you are and getting used to the idea of being an adult with someone who's already done all of that and is now completely at peace with who he is and just has such a passion for life. I understand how lucky I am and I appreciate him more than he realises sometimes. I think that's why I don't feel an age anymore, I feel young certainly, but I couldn't put an age on my frame of mind, and I believe Michael feels exactly the same. Often people seem to mistake this for Michael making me old, but they are wrong, Michael allows me to be who I am without having to worry about acting too old or too young, and I'm sure that's how Michael feels about me.
Living life outside of age barriers that have been set in society by the media and advertising has allowed me to enjoy whatever I want without feeling out of place, I can happily learn ballet with 11-18 year old and have a giggle with them when they talk about boys but then explain to them in a very serious manner why it's important to have the cervical cancer jab. We can go to the Reading festival and have an ace time dancing with random people and watching Stephen Lynch perform the naughtiest of songs but then listen to radio 4 on the way home and indulge in discussion whatever is being brought up in Any Questions. Anyway, my point is yes I may not be going out and partying every weekend, but the things that I do in life are much more enjoyable and suit the person that I am, no matter what age I am, and the same goes for Michael I'm sure, which is why we are so well suited.
Well that turned into more of a ramble than I set out to do, last post I did say I would put up some screenshots of my new mounts, well here is my Quel'dorei Steed:
And my newest mount the Argent Warhorse which makes me look like a paladin :)
I've been getting back into working towards the Loremaster achivement and I'm almost done in Kalimdor now, which is good. I've been enjoying it, it's nice getting away from the cities and high level areas which are generally full of idiots and going back to all the old original WoW content and enjoying the game for what it is.I'm pretty happy today :)
this was a really nice post to read :) It sounds like you're at a stage in life where you're not only comfortable with yourself, but you have gained some real insight into various facets of your personality and your relationship.
ReplyDeleteI too look back on my teen years and cringe sometimes.. well, that almost seems like not a strong enough word! It's kind of ironic actually, I spent a fairly substantial part of my adolescence being a total cunt and then spent the following few years beating myself up about it. But I think (hope!) I'm getting somewhere now.. I still feel like I'm figuring out a lot about myself and what my place in the world is, but the last few months have played a really important part in helping me figure that out. I suppose you could say that I'm on the path, although I don't quite know what the destination is yet!
And I think you make some interesting points about the age thing - you know, this may sound kind of silly to you but I hadn't really realised how much difficulty from other people the age difference could inspire. I suppose I had always just assumed that people would, at the most, maybe act a little shocked at first but then quickly not find it an issue - after all, we're in the 21st century! But I see that isn't the case, which sort of sucks..
It's quite fun learning who you are when you get to the point of just enjoying what life throws at you and seeing how you react, which at that point is usually in a positive manner :) I think being aware of yourself is the biggest part of learning who you are...if you get what I mean!
ReplyDeleteAs for the age thing, it is strange the sort of reactions it can invoke, especially when you consider we are both consenting adults, not breaking any law and not hurting anyone in anyway. But it is something that has definately improved with time, me getting older has helped quite a bit, we very rarely get any problems these days and I haven't been mistaken for his daughter for quite a while now, which certainly boosts my confidence a bit ;)
It's funny you mention being in the 21st century, considering an 18 year age gap would have not been any real issue 60-70 years ago and obviously before that it was very common for young girls to marry older men. Not that I'm saying 14 year olds should be married off to rich older men like in the good old days of Romeo and Juliet ;) But it's strange that you mention the 21st centtury in a progressive manner, yet it's almost as if we have gone backwards and more conservative in the last 50 years or so on this issue. It's funny how society works sometimes.